A time to deliver
lighting a memorial candle for the future ~
This piece was written originally in Hebrew for those who resonate with the Israeli narrative - I consider this a good enough translation for allies and friends.
Please note: The following is intended as art and is an expression of my personal voice as a writer. It does not constitute a call to violence or to any specific action.1
It’s time to deliver2.
I am not willing to wait for another thirty years, until the western bloc finishes regulating real estate potential in the Middle East by using bio-policing and Ai.
I am lighting a candle now.
A memorial candle for the future.
Let this be clear: I am writing this not for intellectual amusement, and not to impose my views on anyone. I am writing this for one reason only:
Love.
Love of truth.
Love of self.
My love, as a woman—for nature, for the people around me, for my beloveds, for children.
Out of love for humanity.
And love for the miraculous range between the fullness of the moment and the endless scope of emptiness.
For love has the power to communicate between them, between us,
And even if life is just a dream, a joke, a game, a school, a mystery… this is the realest thing we have to share - and for me, love is the motivation, the engine, the path, and the location.
It always has been—even when I was confused in the past.
And now, it feels clearer than ever.
And so this is how sounds like now:
First, let us begin with two vows and a reminder:
I vow to speak simply.
I vow to sacrifice personal taste in favor of what wants to come through.
Also—I am not currently showing up as a therapist, and most importantly - I can’t be there to hold your hand through the e-motions and triggers that may come up as you are reading this. So I trust you to pace yourself as you need.
Okay, so, here I am, in the deranged, policed and wild west of the algorithm.
I am an artist.
And artists—especially in times of holocausts—are meant to provoke.
Literally - they are meant to get on the nerves; to enliven a nervous system that has collapsed and checked out - and celebrate it’s renewed sensitivity.
That is the essence of an artistic act as I see it - in times of such violent repression, such dense amnesia, such deep blindness—when banal expressions of common sense are perceived as acts of threat and rebellion.
But seriously, how long can we continue to repress?
Here is what must be said, in Hebrew, again and again, without judgment, with the tone of love :
The State of Israel is reenacting a holocaust3.
Not only in the past few weeks, but since before its very establishment.
The State of Israel treats Palestinians as NPC’s and it’s own citizens as cannon fodder.
The State of Israel has been committing psychic rape since its inception.4
The third might be the worst - because it’s the hardest to see - it is a calculated exploitation of the human psychological structure—kidnapping the need for belonging, for meaning, and for leadership—all of which, until now, have found outlet through relational frameworks—meaning, through the relationship between the self and the others, through togetherness—and have thus been vulnerable to system exploitation.
Today, we are being called to orient and root ourselves from the center of the individual being, from the “I”—even at the cost of alienation from normative conventions of social organization.
This is the birth of a divine principle within us—the only true deliverance.
It’s current price is the abandonment of normalcy.
Happening for the first time at such a huge scale: a universal human mystical initiation - if we see it as such.
This is beyond any New Age movement that could get quickly co-opted into another herd doctrine.
This is a mystical unity born from the kern of alone-ness herself.
And so, the comfortable and sweet togetherness we crave—is a death trap.
Not just for Palestinians. For everyone.
It’s important for me to clarify:
Israel is not better or worse than any other nation state5
I just happen to be Israeli and to understand that we are currently neck deep in the final stages of the wheel of Holocaust.
Yes, like Wheel of Fortune—but the opposite.
And like that corny program—the question is NOT whether we win or lose but :
Are we still actually entertained by this?
Does it still amuse us?
Is it worth 100,000 dead Palestinians, not to mention the multi-layered harm “to our side”?
My answer is no.
Full disclosure:
I left Israel three years ago—
not by choice.
Call it a great journey of individuation, call it cultural exile.
A year before the 7th of October —it was already all palpable in the air.
I set out alone on an extreme journey of detachment from the world and reconnection with myself.
Three years have passed, countless journeys—and as of now I’m in Berlin.
I have no warm feelings, sense of belonging, or meaning in living here.
On good days, it’s pleasant and convenient.
And like everyone I have all the human layers—
I miss the sea in Jaffa and I worry about my father who lives in Ramat Gan.
It hurts to be far.
It hurts to see what is happening to us - the people from whom I emerged, whom I grew up with and who’s identity I shed but do not hate or reject.
I’m deeply connected still —
As the act of leaving does not cancel the bond—it just adds a layer onto it.
This is the secret of detachment -
I love and so I agree to leave.
Berlin is currently the closest I can get—a cultural break between Holocaust I and Holocaust II.
So I rest here and observe from a distance that can grant me perspective:
And here is what I see:
It’s time to drop compromises.
Every separatist national identity (including Palestinian) inevitably leads to genocide.
Every “together we will win” swallows complexity, undermines the possibility of true solidarity, and rapes the mind into believing the enemies are external—
Distracting us from the truth that our enemies are our own governments—
And on the inner level, our own internalized mental programming.
Anyone still in Israel, paying taxes, and choosing to abandon their principles and conscience to belong to a political body that has never—not once—put the wellbeing and lives of its citizens first, but always served money and control—
Please wake up.
On all levels reality and soul. Theater and life.
I swallow my own urgency.
You don’t end a Holocaust with demonstrations!
It’s not enough to know it in principle.
You have to catch it red-handed.
To feel the genocide taking place—internally and externally—in real time.
Therefore—Rise up and step out, whoever can.
Leave physically. Leave mentally.
Exit with your body. Exit with your voice.
Resign. make it clear for yourself what it is that you leave.
So that you can be alone for one moment with your truth.
So that you can hear the Holocaust unfolding inside your own soul.
And from there.. slowly, humbly, to articulate a new reality from the inside out.
For some, it will look like leaving the country.
For others, it will look like staying—but radically changing the “who am I” and the “why am I here”.
It would inevitably mean - to be unwoven.
Leaving for the sake of arriving —
So that we can consciously hold whatever is being birthed, within us.
And for something to truly change,
It must happen en masse—right now.
The cannibalistic machine of internal and external high-tech state understands only consumer revolt.
so stop consuming.
UNPLUG.
If you can.
If your’e still reading.
Yes the red one.
—
Now is the time
To board a ship
And sail into the unknown.
Not that I know where I’m going (lol… don’t copy me!)
But here are some principles that might help in this moment:
For those who have the ears to hear - you already know —
The promised land is not Israel.
We reach it through being planted in the heart, through the willingness to see the entire Earth, the whole planet, as one body—the living Mater that matters - as creation - ewcognized as Me creating myself.
Home is not an imagined objective identity defined from the outside.
Home is the heart itself, the inner garden, the space I cultivate inside myself through my willingness to live the truth, to die for it, and to be reborn in it again and again.
Home is a beginner’s mind.
The coveted title of “the chosen people” cannot be inherited.
It cannot be bought. It’s not a torah diploma granting jewish superiority.
For me, “the chosen people” is a term of endearment for those who come when I am.
—
Those who arrive as a result of me choosing myself.
And then softly, playfully recognized - to the extent that I keep meeting myself there.
We are reaching the end
There are no prescriptions, and this is not necessarily easy.
The pain, death, and love that we feel are all real.
This is not a just game.
People are dying for nothing.
Lives are lived for nothing.
More children and more children, and more and more children living and dying in infancy—
For what exactly?
Just to weep and burn ?
Life is happening now,
In this moment.
Gaza is almost wiped, Israel is beat.
We are on the knees.
So surrender my love, now you can.
We as identity were created in a specific time and we will disappear like countless other forms.
Can you can die now.
Are you ready?
No form is above formlessness.
No scripture will stop the great change.
As for me - I gave up on the elusive illusion of organizing a new order with the other pirates,
Because I accepted the essence of the movement of the desert, the great coldness, the principle of oneness as first and foremost me. And just me.
Paradoxically this beautiful, fierce aloneness has become my garden of love
And I don’t fool myself into thinking it will ever end.
But I can feel into the layers.
I am suspicious to any expectations.
And allow what arises in me to live.
I am a mother of truth.
Dear one,
Please don’t argue with me about words or opinions.
I’m not here to persuade.
I’m here to ignite your thinking,
See? a voice that flows without restrictions,
That doesn’t expect to be understood but is anchored in the tonality of love and so dares to communicate just how much I care.
The prayer as love unfolds between polarities—
First within, then between.
And if it moves your feelings—that’s okay.
Our feelings aren’t sacred.
Our thoughts aren’t sacred either.
Only love is.
And her song.
The cry.
So yes—it’s allowed to cry.
It’s allowed not to know.
I dare to let the channel open—even if my opinions are all wrong.
And I dare to speak what burns within me.
And that’s the only thing that helps me bear the horror of seeing
another corpse of a burnt child.
That—and weeping.
These are extreme times of both/and.
So much is being born.
And I won’t apologize for the joy that exists.
It’s horrific—and it’s beautiful.
It’s already begun.
And it just continues.
So I wish us all a joyful awakening —
Now, available to more and more of us.
<3
I only have one passport - Israeli. I grew up in Israel and speak through owning the identity layer of being Israeli as part of my story but not what defines or limits me. As will be stated soon in the text my criticism of Israel does not presume somewhere else is “better” - I call for a full questioning of herd identity as such.
astrologically - today 29th of June, Mercury enters Leo and opposes Pluto in Aqua.
and to the extent that we allow it - also the people of Israel.
as I will say soon - all nation states do that - therefore the only solution is NO STATE - solution - awakening into flux.
of course one could talk much about the uniqueness of the current situation both culturally as also mystically.